The first marriages were by capture, i.e., the groom
would kidnap the woman, and take her away from her
tribe with the help of a warrior friend, his "BEST MAN",
who would help him fight off other men who wanted this
woman, and also help him prevent her family from finding
them. "The GROOM" would put himself and his
bride into hiding, the "HONEYMOON", and by the time the
bride's family found them, the bride would already be
pregnant. When the groom fought off other warriors
who also wanted his bride, he would hold onto her with his
left hand, while fighting them off with his sword in his
right hand which is why the bride stands on the left, and
the groom on the right. Although the above was
common, marriage by purchase was preferred. Usually
the bride would be bartered for land, social status, or
political alliances. Sometimes she was exchanged for
cash. The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" meant that the groom
would vow to marry the woman, but it also meant the money
or barter that the groom paid the bride's father. A
wedding, then, literally meant the purchase of a bride for
breeding purposes, the word wedding comes from a
root word meaning to gamble or wager. There were also arranged
marriages, where the groom's family told him who he was to
marry, and they very rarely let him see the bride because
if he didn't like her looks, he may refuse to marry her.
therefore, the father of the bride GAVE THE BRIDE AWAY to the groom, who
LIFTED THE VEIL to see her for the
first time. The
expression TIE THE KNOT
comes from roman times when the bride wore a girdle that
was tied in knots that the groom had the fun of untying.DIAMOND
ENGAGEMENT RINGS were given by medieval Italians,
because of their belief that the diamond was created from
the flames of love. Ancient Spartan soldiers were
the first to hold STAG / BATCHELOR
PARTIES. The groom would feast with his male
friends on the night before the wedding. There he
would say good-bye to the carefree days of bachelorhood
and swear continued allegiance to his comrades. BRIDAL
SHOWERS were also meant to strengthen the
friendships between the bride and her friends, give her
moral support, and help her prepare for her
marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new,
dating from the 1890's. At one shower, the bride's
friend placed small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, and
then opened it over the bride's head so all of the
presents would "shower" over her. When word of this
hit the fashion pages, people were so charmed, they
decided to do the same at their showers. The BRIDAL
PARTY has many origins, one of which comes from the
Anglo Saxon days. When the groom was about
to capture his bride, he needed the help of his friends,
the "Groomsmen", "bridesmen" or
"brideknight". They would make sure the bride
got to the church and to the grooms house
afterwards. The bride also
had women to help her, the "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen". The WHITE
WEDDING DRESS made popular by Anne of Brittany in
1499. Before that, a woman just wore her best
dress. In biblical days,
blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and
groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their
wedding attire, hence "SOMETHING
BLUE". In the
14th century, it was customary for the bride to "TOSS HER GARTER" to the men, but
sometimes the men got too drunk, and would become
impatient and try to take the garter off her ahead
of time.It got to be less
trouble for her just to "TOSS HER
BRIDAL BOUQUET".It is
unknown when "WEDDING RINGS"
were first worn. They were probably made of a stone metal,
like iron so that it wouldn't break easily which would
have been a very bad omen. The ancient Romans
believed that the vein in third finger ran directly to the
heart, so wearing the ring on that finger joined the
couples hearts and destiny. Weddings just would not be
complete without fertility symbols, like the "WEDDING CAKE".
Ancient Romans would bake a cake made of wheat or barley
and break it over the bride's head as a symbol of her
fertility. It became tradition to pile up several
small cakes, one on top of the other, as high as they
could, and the bride and groom would kiss over the tower
and try not to knock it down. If they were
successful, it meant a lifetime of prosperity.
During the reign of King Charles II of England, it became
customary to turn this cake into an enjoyably edible
palace, iced with sugar. TYING SHOES TO THE BUMPER OF THE CAR
represents the symbolism and power of shoes in ancient
times. Egyptians would exchange sandals when they
exchanged goods, so when the father of the bride gave his
daughter to the groom, he would also give the brides
sandals to show that she now belonged to the groom.
In Anglo Saxon times, the groom would tap the heel of the
bride's shoe to show his authority over her. In
later times, people would throw shoes at the couple, and
now we just tie shoes to the car bumper... Once
married, remembering Valentines Day is a
requirement, But WHO WAS ST. VALENTINE? One
story is that during the days of Emperor Claudius, war was
raging, and Claudius thought that bachelor soldiers would
fight harder so he outlawed marriage, so St. Valentinus, a
priest, would marry people secretly. Another story
says that Valentinus was a Christian who refused to
worship pagan gods and was imprisoned. During this
time, he made friends with the jailer's blind daughter and
cured her through prayer. When he was executed, on
February 14, he left a note for her signed, "Your
Valentine".
Wedding
Superstions
When it comes to Weddings, everyone's
superstitious. Even if you're the kind of person who
walks under ladders on point of principle, or laughs off
when friends touch wood, you can bet that, when your
wedding day dawns, wild horses couldn't stop you from
clutching something old and donning something blue.
And that's just for starters. We guarantee that you
wouldn't dream of seeing your fiancée on the morning of
the wedding. And will you expect to be carried
across the threshold? Of course you will......BUT WHERE
DO THESE OLD SUPERSTITIONS COME
FROM??:"
Some can be traced back to Roman &
Anglo-Saxon times, some to Victorian rhymes and others to
folklore that has been passed down through countless
generations. All of them are to do with bestowing good
luck and fertility on the happy couple.
There are so many superstitions
and traditions associated with Weddings that its
impossible to follow them all. Many have changed
over time, while others, thankfully, are very watered down
versions of old customs.
Something Old, Something
New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue And A Silver Sixpence
In Her Shoe
This rhyme originated in
Victorian times. "Something Old" signifies that the
couple's friends will stay with them, In one version of
the tradition "Something Old" was an old garter which was
given to the bride by a happily married woman so that the
new bride would also enjoy a happy marriage. "Something
New" looks to the future for health, happiness and
success. "Something Borrowed" is an
opportunity for the bride's parents to give her something
as a token of their love (it must be returned to ensure
Good Luck), and "Something
Blue" is thought lucky because blue represents
fidelity and constancy. A sixpence was placed in the shoe
to bring the couple wealth in their married
life. Some bride's still place a penny in their shoe
during the marriage ceremony.
Flowers
Flowers have always been a big
feature at Weddings. The Groom is supposed to wear a
flower that appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his
button-hole. This stems from the Medieval tradition
of a Knight wearing his Lady's colours, as a declaration
of his love. Each flower has its own meaning and can
display a special message. Orange Blossom, for instance,
signifies chastity, purity and loveliness, while red
chrysanthemum means "I love you".
The Time & The
Place
Sunday
used to be the most popular wedding day, as it was the one
day most people were free from work. Puritans
in Seventeenth Century put a stop to this, however,
believing it was improper to be festive on the
Sabbath. Today, Saturdays are the busiest, despite
the rhyme.
Monday for
health, Tuesday for
wealth, Wednesday
best of all, Thursday
for losses, Friday
for crosses, Saturday
for no luck at all.
As for the time of year, the
saying "Marry in the month of may, and you'll live to rue
the day" dates back to Pagan time. May, the start of
summer, was dedicated to outdoor orgies (i.e. the summer
festival Beltane), hardly the best way to begin
married life! Queen Victoria is said to have banned
her children from marrying in May, and Nineteenth Century
Vicars were rushed off their feet on April 30th
because brides refused to marry during May. The sun
has always been associated with sexual stimulation and,
therefore future fertility. In Scotland it was
traditional for the bride to 'walk with the sun',
proceeding from east to west on the south side of the
church and then circling the church three times "sunwise"
for good luck.
Married when the year is
new, he'll be loving, kind & true,
When February birds so mate, you wed
nor dread your fate, If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll
know. Marry in April
when you can, Joy for Maiden & for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll
surely rue the day. Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll
go. Those who in July
do wed, must labor for their daily bread.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change
is sure to come. Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich
and fine. If in October you do marry, love will come but
riches tarry. If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember. When December snows fall
fast, marry and true love will last.
Food For Thought
Today's three tier Wedding Cake
is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint
Bride's Church in London. Traditionally the
newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing
their life. Every guest than eats a crumb to ensure
good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her
pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future
husband. The giving of almond favours is connected
with the motto: "A gift of five almonds represents health,
wealth, long life, fertility and happiness". The
throwing of confetti, meanwhile is an ancient fertility
rite, Handfuls of grain or nuts were
traditionally thrown because they are 'life-giving'
seeds, In some European countries, eggs are thrown
instead.
Get Me To The
Church
Walking is thought to be the best
way of getting to the church, as there's more chance of
spotting lucky omens. Seeing a rainbow, having the
sun shine on the bride and meeting a black cat or a
chimney sweep are all lucky.
Bad omens include seeing a pig, hare (rabbit), or lizard
running across the road, or spotting an open
grave. Make sure the road is clear of Monks or Nuns
too, they foretell barrenness and a life dependent
on charity. Coming home from
Church can be equally hazardous. Tradition dictates
the new wife must enter her home by the main door and, to
avoid bad luck, must never trip or fall-hence the custom
that a bride should be carried over the threshold.
Dressing Up
Until the nineteen hundreds
brides hardly ever bought a Wedding Dress, opting for
their best outfit instead. Green was always avoided,
as it was thought to be unlucky. To say a girl 'had a
green gown' also implied that she was of loose morals,
because her dress would be grass-stained due to rolling
around in the fields! Hence "Marry in Green,
ashamed to be seen". White dress's where made
popular by Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of
royal marrying in silver. Symbolizing purity and
virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil
spirits. Other traditions are that the bride should
never make her own dress, that the final stitch should not
be completed until she is departing for the church and
that she should never try on the entire outfit before the
day. This was because it was felt dangerous for the
bride to count her chickens. For the same reason, a bride
should never practice signing her new name until it
is legally hers, and wedding linen was marked
with the brides maiden rather than married initials.
The tradition of Bridesmaids is evolved from the custom
of surrounding the bride with other richly
dressed women, in order to confuse evil spirits.
Married in White, you have chosen right Married in Gray, you will go far away, Married in Black, you will wish yourself back, Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead, Married in Green, ashamed to be seen, Married in Blue, you will always be true, Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl, Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow, Married in Brown, you will live in the town, Married in Pink, your spirit will sink.
These are some of the traditions and superstitions
that have been passed down from generation to
generation. I hope it will help you make some decisions
about your wedding. If you have any additional
traditions or superstitions that are not listed about
please send them to me and I will include them in
this.
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